Putting the Pieces Back Together

“Shards of me too sharp to put back together”

-Breathe No More - Evanescence



" This skirt looks similar to what I had."

 Skirts, scooters, shorts. Hmm, I remember those types of clothing, but that was long ago. On second thought that was before I lost “myself” when I was a little girl back in elementary school. Someone of you may not know what the hell I’m talking about! I’m here to tell you. Lets go time traveling. Picture this: A little innocent African American girl wearing glasses chasing her friends on the playground dressed in a peach color strip shirt with 4-inches below the kneecap blue jean shorts. Shocking isn’t? Yes, I used to wear skirts, scooters, and shorts wear my hairy legs would show. Not caring at all what my body look liked. That all changed. Once I enter the cold grounds of middle school, I near what the outside world felt like. Middle school was like burning hell for me because I became the target of bullying.



"Orangutan =  Me."

 No, I wasn’t being pushed into lockers or nothing along that line. There are different types of ways to bully someone. I was verbally bullied because of my looks and hygiene. Many of the girls from my class teased me because my body was hairy. Even do I tried to ignore them and their nasty comments, it still hurt. These girls were “privileged” that their parents (mostly likely the mother) or guardian allowed them to shave, but I was on the other side. Unlike them, I was raised in a more strict, complex way. No my parents weren’t too strict, but there was certain things couldn’t do that other girls were doing. The reason why I could not shave was because my mother told me I couldn’t until a certain age. She had her reason like “once you shave it off, it will grow back tenfold”. Meaning that it will be worse than before. All and all, I obeyed her command. There were many times I thought of buying those through away shavers or using her electric shaver, but I didn’t. I don’t like getting into trouble. I also a “nickname” Orangutan. It did not phase why I was being call that, but now I understand. Orangutans are very hairy, just like me. I rather be called The Grinch than Orangutan. This is a whole another story.



"Plucking"

 Finally, My mom let me start shaving once I got to that certain age which was in high school. Let me tell you I was so pleased because I wanted to start high school with a fresh note. Here’s the kicker, even do I became shaving I still don’t wear skirts, scooters, or shorts. I have to find a way to put the pieces of me back together, but each piece holds a painful memory. No matter how many times people comment me, I ALONE have to believe I’m beautiful. I pray that my sister whose getting closer to middle NEVER have to experienced what I went through. Those girls don’t realize that they shoved into the darkness, but I fight my back up to the light.